Life is full of ups and downs

Life has its ups and downs. To overcome the down times, we have to acquire great passion and bravery. And i'm going to further studies, i know that is a sign that i am slowly venturing into adulthood (adult?? now kid??) which i have to learn to grab hold of the world inside my own hand. Once, i was filled with anticipation that i will have a sweet college life because i thought that i had acquired most of the answers in life.

My pre-college year (2001-2003) was quite enjoyable because i divided into small groups when i can learn effectively and make friends easily. I thought this golden time will continue forever until i now didn't foresee the waves which is dashing towards me. I never thought this could happen, so i was left crushed and confused. And now, most of the time i was accompanied by loneliness and misery(Kyo? JZ?) Then i began to put a front for my best friends (TF, JESS & MANGO) and parents, not wanting them to discover the sorrows in my eyes and worry.

This did not mean that all the time my life is so uncolored. I had times of happiness too. However, more times than not i was digging a big hole in my heart to pump out all the emptiness that contained inside of me but i failed. Maybe all these happened because i had been used to having good grades and being recognizend for my talents. But now i felt uncared for and invisible among my friends. The symptoms became visible when my friends started to yell at me, criticize me without even considering my feeling and gave me the idea that it was a wrong thing. It brought a feeling of insecurity till i decided not to trust others and also began to paranoid that everyone was stabbing on my back.

Gradually i began to wake up from this confusion, which i prefer to call it a total nightmare where i learnt that life does not bring anything to me, it is me who decide what to bring into my life. Moreover, i was quite lucky to meet a few friends who cheer me up and guide me to think positively (especially u). I felt more comfortable with myself and did not care so much about what others thought of me. And i responded to those who truly wanted me to change for a better me. So far i have learned many things from them and would like to take this opportunity to thank them.

Lastly my conclusion is that God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change (which is my past), the courage to change the things i can (which is now), and the wisdom to know the difference. There are so many ups and many downs in life like using the lift, but the important thing is whether i can see through it or not...